It’s important to remember that even if sex is off the table for you and your partner, there are other ways of creating physical intimacy. Feeling close to your partner can help make the cancer experience more manageable and assist in the recovery process.

Things you may be experiencing

• No longer feeling sexual feelings towards your partner while they are battling cancer
• Viewing your partner more as a patient than as someone you’re sexually attracted to
• Feeling scared of hurting your partner during sex
• Feeling unwanted or unattractive due to changes in your sex life
• Feeling tired from your caretaking responsibilities and trying to keep your lives afloat during this time
• Feeling disappointed, angry, sad, distressed, out of control, lonely, anxious, or powerless

Tips

• Try finding a support group for partners and/or caregivers of someone with cancer. Having an opportunity to talk to other people in a similar spot as you are in can help normalize your own experiences.
• If you don’t already see a therapist, try finding someone you trust. Having someone who is unbiased and on your side is very helpful to process this experience.
• Be patient with yourself and your partner. This is a new experience for you both and will take some time to adjust to.
• Communicate, communicate, communicate. Having an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you both are feeling, what physical and mental changes you’re experiencing, and your desires for your sex life during this time can help immensely
• Try to accept that your sex life might look different than it did before your partner’s cancer diagnosis, but that doesn’t mean that it’s over. Having a willingness to be creative will help you both find new ways to experience intimacy and desire together.

Learn more about Sex & Relationships.